Whether you’re at the beginning of your path or well into the journey, these insights can help you navigate challenges, embrace your unique self, and build a future filled with purpose and fulfillment. From understanding the value of time and the importance of surrounding yourself with good people, to mastering financial responsibility and knowing when to stand up for yourself—these tips are not just advice, but a blueprint for living a life that truly matters.
From embracing who you are to planning for the future, these life tips provide a roadmap for anyone looking to grow, succeed, and live with purpose. Here is a “life manual” that if you follow it… should help you have a fulfilling and successful life… or at least set you on the right path.
Most of these you have heard before… some of these may seem obvious but as I look around at society, on social media, amongst family and friends… few people are heeding many of these… including myself. I am a work in progress. I am not perfect… neither are you, but we can all strive to be better humans. We deserve it, as do the people around us.
I wish I was given this list when I was a teenager… perhaps things would have been easier for me and I would have attained even more success… and could have been happier along the way.
Who knows… but I present the 21 life tips to you—do with it what you will.
1. Time is Short—Appreciate Life
- Life moves quickly, so take the time to enjoy the little things. Stop and smell the roses—don’t let life pass you by without appreciating it.
- One day you’re 21 years old… and you blink… the next thing you know… you’re 51. It goes by really quick. The days and at times… the weeks may feel like they drag on… but the years will go by quickly and you won’t even notice it.
- Don’t waste it being on your phone all day or consumed with social media, fighting people, arguing, being mad, holding grudges or in time wasting relationships with negative people… be it soul-sapping friends or whomever.
- Don’t put off things you can do today… get them done. Don’t procrastinate. None of us know when we will “expire.”
- “Eat the frog” i.e. do the tough tasks first each day. And set it up so before you can watch TV, hang out with friends, play video games, do a hobby, etc. – you must have “earned” it… ie. finished your tasks for the day. You will feel better and more accomplished if you earn that “TV” time on the couch.
2. Don’t Hold On to Anger or Petty Grudges
- Life is too short to be weighed down by anger or petty issues. Let go of negativity to focus on what truly matters.
- Being mad and pissed off usually only affects you. It “poisons” you and often enough – the other person doesn’t even know or care that you’re hating on them.
- Don’t let people control how you feel. Don’t give people that kind of power.
3. Plan for the Short, Mid, and Long Term
- Setting goals for the near future, the next few years, and long term can help you stay on track and achieve what you want out of life. Don’t jump around from thing to thing. You can experiment with stuff to find your niche, but at some point, you need to be moving forward with purpose and a direction.
- This doesn’t mean to not be spontaneous from time to time, but don’t blindly rush into things. And if you want to pursue a musical career or another type of journey where it’s really tough to break in… try it… just give yourself an “exit date” so you can move on if need be.
- The best thing is to find something you love… that you would do for free if you could and figure out how to make a career or business out of it.
4. Surround Yourself with Good People
- The company you keep can greatly influence your life. Choose friends who support and inspire you, and distance yourself from those who bring negativity.
- Have your expectations of others at the right level… then you will rarely let people disappoint you. For example, if you know they are always late… expect it… and don’t let it bother you if they show up late… plan accordingly.
- Hang around good and positive people who are doing the right things. As they say, if you are hanging around with 9 dogs with fleas… eventually, you will be the 10th dog with fleas.
5. Get Educated – However That Looks for You
- Whether it’s college or a trade school, furthering your education is key to opening doors and creating opportunities. There are a lot of options these days to have your college and trade school paid for… look into it.
- The military is also a great thing… I am a veteran of the US Army and would do it again. There are so many jobs in the military and each branch is different with unique cultures and such that you could find a good match for you. Be it 4 years… or if you did the full 20 years–serving in the military can give you much life long benefits such as teaching you teamwork, maturity, leadership, accountability, responsibility, fitness, discipline, a trade & skills, confidence, pride, etc. I think most young folks should have to do a 2 year stint coming out of high school – the people who go through it and the country would be much better off for it.
- Talent will only get you so far… work ethic and “know-how” will get you over the top.
- Many people think success is luck… but more often enough, it’s where you already prepared yourself… got the experience, education and knowledge… you were ready for an opportunity and when it came… you were there to slay it.
- And when training… just don’t train until you get it right… practice it until you can’t get it wrong. Remember, in high stress and high stakes situations… you don’t want to rely on you putting in a superhuman performance… that may or may not come. You want to be able to “fall back” or resort to your training and standards… which you can rely on if you prepared yourself right. People generally fall back to what they know… they don’t consistently perform above their level… especially when the pucker factor is through the roof.
6. Avoid Alcohol and Drugs
- Staying clear of abusing alcohol and drugs will keep you focused, healthy, and in control of your life. They can lead to bad decisions and negative consequences.
- I didn’t have an ongoing problem with either, but the times I had “issues” out in public and “out & about”… it was influenced by “partying.”
- And that adage, nothing good happens after midnight, is spot on. Try to be off the road and in a safe place by the time the clock hits midnight.
7. Be a Good Person
- Kindness and integrity are invaluable. Strive to treat others with respect and empathy and always act with honesty.
- Be the type of person where you do the right thing… even when no one is looking.
- Don’t be mean. Don’t be a d*ck. Remember the Golden Rule — treat others how you want to be treated.
- Remember, that phrase of, “Hurt people hurt people” is so spot on and accurate. Try not to hurt people and if you find yourself hurting others on a consistent basis — get help.
- Don’t gossip… everyone will listen to what you’re saying because people are nosy and/or curious (usually both)… but people will wonder if you are doing it about them when they aren’t around.
8. Be Accountable and Responsible
- Take responsibility for your actions and decisions.
- Being accountable will earn you respect and help you grow into a reliable person.
- People don’t like folks who are not dependable and don’t do what they say they will do. Be a person where your word can be counted on.
- Think things through and own it… the good and the bad.
9. Don’t Blame Others
- When things go wrong, don’t point fingers. Own your part in situations, learn from them, and move forward.
- Sometimes it’s noble and shows leadership if you just take the “hit” even if you didn’t cause the problem.
- Remember, there is a difference between constructive criticism and just being a jackass.
- I have found most times when I failed in life (and we all fail from time to time) or when something went sideways… it usually was mostly my fault… I made a bad decision, did something stupid, or made a mistake. Not every time it was on me… but more times than not… it was, at some level—mostly my “bad.”
10. Be Disciplined
- Discipline is essential for achieving your goals and maintaining a balanced life. Practice self-control and develop good habits.
- If I had to sum it up in one word… that for me… if I used it right and heeded it—is the most important one: Discipline. Just about everything can be tracked back to discipline or a lack thereof.
11. Don’t Rush into Marriage – Wait Until at Least 25
- Marriage is an enormous commitment. Give yourself time to grow, achieve financial stability, and understand yourself before tying the knot.
- I would say live with the person for at least a complete year and have been dating them for at least 2 years before marriage. Preferably longer. You should know this person… really well. Most relationships fail… a majority of marriages fail… so make sure you find the right person.
12. Wait Until at least 30 to Have Children
- Having children is a significant responsibility. Ensure you’re financially secure and able to take care of yourself before starting a family.
- If you can’t afford yourself or you’re still immature or you have a rocky relationship with the significant other—don’t have kids. No reason to bring a child into a tough circumstance. Life is already tough enough.
- I think kids are best served in a loving home with 2 parents. That doesn’t mean single parents are horrible… they aren’t… but the ideal situation is a loving home with both parents in it who are in a loving relationship that is stable, mature and financially strong. I know there are a ton of people out there who don’t fit into that “box” – don’t take it personal – it’s not a knock on you but even you would have to agree that the above is accurate in most cases.
13. Stand Up for Yourself When Needed—But Pick Your Battles
- It’s important to stand up for yourself, but not every issue is worth a fight. Learn to choose your battles wisely to conserve your energy for what truly matters.
- Don’t burn bridges that don’t need burning down.
14. Not Everything is About You
- It’s easy to get caught up in your own world, but remember that everyone has their own struggles and perspectives.
- Be considerate of others and understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you.
- Remember, your “truth” may not be reality… you could be wrong about this or that, so try to be self-aware.
- Be genuinely interested in others when you can be, without being pushy or nosey.
15. Embrace Who You Are
- Understand that you are unique and valuable just the way you are.
- Don’t try to be someone else to fit in. Celebrate your individuality.
- But be who you can “afford” to be and know your place. That isn’t to say to bow your head to others, but sometimes you gotta “earn it” – pick your shots and spots and do more listening than talking. Being humble is a good thing. Being reasonable is a good thing. Show more than tell. And remember, no one likes a braggart or a bully.
16. Don’t Fear Failure
- Failure is a natural part of life and an opportunity to learn. Embrace mistakes as learning experiences rather than setbacks.
- Take reasonable chances… but don’t take stupid risk… don’t be reckless. Go into things with a plan and the proper attitude, knowledge and with both eyes open. Have an exit plan if possible and if you get knocked to the ground… stand back up, brush yourself off and take another step forward.
- In the military, we often had what is called an “After Action Review” where we analyzed the event, situation, etc. for the good, bad and the ugly with the goal on improving. You should do that for yourself… for the wins and with the “losses.”
17. Stay Curious and Keep Learning
- Never stop learning, whether in school or outside of it. Curiosity will lead you to new interests, skills, and opportunities.
- Between videos on the internet, online classes, talking to mentors, peers, continuing education or going to a college or trade school… never stop learning.
- Ask questions… pursue knowledge.
- Get a hobby or 2… keep your mind sharp and active.
18. Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health
- Exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep. Take vitamins, eat well and in a healthy way. Keep a healthy height/weight/BMI ratio.
- See the doctor regularly… don’t put off seeing a doctor if you feel a bump, see something on your body, feel a certain kind of way, etc. if they recommend medicines or lifestyle changes – do it if it’s appropriate.
- Don’t neglect your mental health—seek help if you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious… or just not right. There is no shame in talking to someone. I think everyone should talk to a professional of some sort… or at least to a close friend they trust (and will be honest with you—tell you the truth).
- Remember, EVERYONE has worries, doubts, concerns, issues, challenges, problems, lacks confidence at times, feels out of place sometimes, feels “ugly”, etc. All of us are “damaged” in one way or another… and it’s OK… just work on it.
19. Set Goals and Work Toward Them
- Identify what you want to achieve, both short-term and long-term. Set realistic goals and break them down into smaller steps to make them more manageable.
- Don’t overwhelm yourself and one way to help prevent that it is to set up “micro goals” for yourself, which are smaller goals… that can give you “small wins” which builds momentum and helps you achieve the bigger goals. These are like the “steps” to get you to the bigger short-term goal. And the short-term goals should often be designed to help you achieve the longer-term goals.
- Every 3 to 6 months, analyze your progress and adjust where necessary.
20. Learn Financial Responsibility
- Start saving and learning about money management early. Understanding how to budget, save, invest and spend wisely will give you financial freedom later in life.
- Get financially literate. There are a ton of free videos on YouTube if you don’t have access to classes in a school. I would recommend both – classes and well done, accurate and helpful videos.
21. Enjoy the Journey
- Life isn’t just about the destination. Appreciate the moments, big and small.
- Savor your experiences and make the most of your years… especially in or starting with your youth, because all of your years are unique and fleeting.
- At the end of the day, we all will have a birth date… a “dash” and a death date… what’s important is what did you do for the “dash” part. There are no do-overs. We all get one life… make it count.
- LIVE life… don’t simply exist.
BONUS ITEM:
Understand the “Value System.” We all have this… we all use this “system”– some more than others. Most people don’t realize that they do… or acknowledge it. Many people walk around with a lack of self-awareness… don’t do that.
I first heard about this for the NFL.. many years ago and it’s applicable to everyday life and relationships too.
Essentially, in the NFL (and on most pro teams)… they will keep you around and pay attention to you as long as your “value” to them is at a higher level than your problems and issues are. If your performance slips and you’re a pain in the ass… they won’t keep you around. However, if you are a star player and your performance is high… or just a solid team player with little to no drama and can do the job well enough… and those things are at a higher level than the “drama” you bring to the table—they will keep you around.
How does that manifest in everyday life and with everyone else?
Like I said above, we all do it… it can be something as simple as you making a “value” decision when your phone rings and you look at the caller ID to see who it is. If it’s the new guy or girl that you’re wanting to date… you’re gonna answer the phone… if it’s your teenager daughter who is out with friends… you will answer it with the quickness but if it’s a bill collector, an ex-boyfriend, a friend who always nags, complains or asks you for money, etc. – you may not answer the phone.
We all place value on others… and then act accordingly… and it’s done back to us.
Make sure your “value” is higher than the “luggage” you bring to someone… and when I use the term “luggage”, I am talking about the problems, issues, drama, personality quirks/nuances/flaws, etc. that you bring to someone when you deal with them.
Look, we all have value in the pure sense of the word. I am not talking about self-worth or if you are valuable as a human being… I’m talking about perception… how folks look at you and decide if they want you around or not… if they will pay you any mind.
Have self awareness… realize what your role, standing, etc. is wherever you go and behave accordingly. Know how you are perceived… and realize how you treat other people. I would put forth that only be around people that value you, that take your call on a regular basis, that will text you back within a reasonable time, etc. etc. And for those who perhaps don’t see you are worthy of that… see if it’s something you said or did… see if you can improve your “standing” but at some point… you may just have to “cut bait” and move on. But remember, sometimes you deserve the “status” someone gave to you… and also remember, your “status” is different with every person who you interact with.
This value system is done by you and to you with every human on the planet… from your mom to your enemies and everyone in between, so be aware of it.
So that’s it for this article… I could have easily written 50 tips… but I think the above is a solid core to work off of. Remember that we all are a work in progress… and I wish you well on your life’s journey.
“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” — Robert Brault